Parenting with Words of Grace: 5 Words Kids Need to Hear You Say!
“Let Mommy Finish this first” “Share with your brother” “Be careful” “Hurry up” “What were you thinking?”
How many times a day do you think phrases like this come out of your mouth?
While I’ve never physically counted, I know if I really stop and reflect on my days it is more than I want it to be.
As I have strengthened my own relationship with God I realize that parenting my children has far less to do with getting them place to place and making sure they have matching fourth of July outfits.
Parenting has less to do with the matching family pictures and teaching them how to balance so many things that this world has started to expect from them at a young age.
It’s our job as moms and dads to create an environment that fosters their relationship with God.
An environment where they are surrounded by role models who show what a relationship with God looks like.
And for me, that means using words of grace in my relationships at home.
Through my own personal growth that Motherhood has brought, I realize that life is about being intentional.
If you aren’t intentional about it, life will pass you by.
Without intention, you will continue to say and do things that your heart and mind don’t want you to be doing.
I’ve put a lot of effort to separate myself from this over the last 18 months and here are a few words of grace that have helped changed me to being a mom who is in control (mostly 😉) of her words and has learned to approach situations with a calm response-fueled with God’s grace.
5 Words of Grace Your Kids Need Most
Starting today, use these 5 phrases to show your children the difference between a reactive mom and a responsive mom!
1.I’m Sorry
Have you ever apologized to your children?
Maybe you were tired, rushed and just had to snip at them? Well, I think snipping at our children (and our spouse) is a choice- one we often don’t realize we are making because we live our life on autopilot most days, but still, it’s a choice.
Snipping is definitely not words of grace however saying “I’m sorry” is.
I’m not saying that your children should run amok and you should never set up boundaries. Your children need firmness in their life, just as God gives us boundaries to keep us moving in the right direction.
But our children don’t deserve the transfer of internal frustration to come out on them with harsh words and anger, no matter what they’ve done.
2. It is ok
Sometimes we just need to hear that our mistake, accident or mishap is ok.
Not everything in life needs a reaction, but it does need a response and this where words of grace will help you!
Your little ones are going to do a whole heck of a lot of things that are going to have them rushing to you saying “it was an accident” so you better get yourself prepared for this one because I’m pretty sure it won’t slow down as they get older!
When you feel you are about to react to their mistake, accident or mishap, instead take a deep breath and ask yourself this question:
Did they intentionally do this?
If they didn’t, then it was truly a mistake, accident or mishap and there is no reason to make a mountain out of a mole hill! Simply let the breath out and tell them “It is OK”.
Just to show you how far I’ve come on this journey myself… here is a little story:
My husband got home from an extra-long day of work and our kids were upstairs playing in my daughters room. As we were visiting at the kitchen island, we hear water running upstairs.
Weird. I thought I shut the bathroom door to keep Bryce (our 18 month old who is obsessed with playing in there) out.
So I rush, and I mean RUSH upstairs, fly open the bathroom door and there he is, standing on the bathtub ledge leaning against my sink brushing his teeth with the BIGGEST smile on his face.
“teeth” he says showing me his toothbrush.
And then I saw it….
An overflowing sink and entirely covered bathroom floor with water.
Ok, phew. We caught it quickly. Clean up the floor and head back downstairs just to realize that there was so much water, it was coming out of our kitchen light fixture.
Needless to say that event was obviously not done intentionally but good grief, it was a mess!
I had to take a few deep breaths, say a moment of gratitude to help keep my mind focused on the positive side of things (like at least we caught it quickly!).
After that intentional pause, I was able to let Bryce and our daughter, who at this point was sure that her little brother was going to be in trouble, that sometimes mistakes happen and it is ok. I just want everyone to stay safe and let Mommy or Daddy know next time they want to brush their teeth.
And mommy still loves you.
3. Can you help mommy with…?
Being conscientious to include my children in even the most basic household things offers a few positives to our home life.
They are learning how to do contribute to the household which is great because we all live there and we all make messes but more importantly, it is showing them that asking for help is ok.
Learning to ask for help is a lesson I wish I would have learned earlier in life. I built up some stubbornness on this topic and was determined to show the world I could balance it all.
In reality, I just caused myself more headaches and heartaches than necessary.
I’m happy to report I’m passed that phase in life and my shoulders feel a lot lighter being on this side! If you are still struggling yourself with this, think about how this might be impacting your ability to have a happy healthy family.
Start intentionally including your children in activities with you and they will love being include in your world.
4. Want to pray with me about it?
What better words of grace we can give out children than queuing them up to pray about it when they come to us with their worries and problems?
I’m continuing to work on this myself, for my own challenges and when my children come to me.
Teaching our children starts with role modeling.
The more we can be open an honest about needing to pray for things, the more open they will be when you ask them about it. I have two toddlers so the frustrations can run high as they learn how to share, play together and learn to give each other ‘space’.
And they are fairly quick to frustration-not understanding why little brother won’t just give the tea kettle back after asking for it once.
Each night I’ve begun to weave in praying for specific needs that occurred that day with my children so they can start to see the connection of how God can help us with our problems.
“Please help Annabelle and Bryce learn to have happy hands- hands that share their tea kettle and hands that make sure to give things back when others ask”. It is fairly simple, but it is working and I love giving them this extra moment to know God is who we turn to when we have challenges.
5. That’s a good question, let’s figure it out together
It’s important that our children know we won’t always have an answer! Teaching them how to be sufficient with problem solving skills will give them a life skill that is sure to come in handy, especially though those teenage years!
God doesn’t expect us to have all the answers, that is what we have him for. Leading our children to a path of looking to God for help and guidance in problem solving is an excellent way to demonstrate God’s grace with our children!
Parenting With Grace
Now that you’ve heard the 5 words of grace I use in my own home, what comes to mind for you?
Is there a little voice coming to your own mind that is telling you a different word of grace you need to start using?
Above all else, the key here is to make sure that you start to be intentional with the language you are using with your children.
Using these words of grace will not only help your home become less of a reactive home, most importantly it will highlight the beautiful Grace that God has given us.
Head on over to my list of encouraging bible verses all moms need to know about to learn even more about the grace God has given us.
Spread the grace, PIN here!
